Thursday, April 02, 2009

Jeremiah 20:1-16, Psalm 131,Psalm 132, and Psalm 133, Romans 11:1-12, John 10:19-42

How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! (Psalm 133)

I have a nasty habit of holding grudges. About two weeks ago, one of my coworkers and I had a phone conversation in which I felt that she was extremely rude and snippy. I held onto my resentment and anger towards her, even after I found out that she was feeling poorly and was having a bad day. For most people, the knowledge of this would have been enough to “let it go” and move on; except, I didn’t do that. It was the last straw in a history of incidents with this coworker, incidents that spanned a period of five years. I’d finally had enough!

I decided it would be easier just to avoid her altogether and not speak to her. By doing that, I rationalized, I’d also be preventing any “potential” confrontations. And, since none of the work I have to do involves any direct contact with her anyway, I felt that this was reasonable.

Well, the only problem with that solution was that it created an extreme amount of tension, the kind that comes with not getting along with people. I even felt uneasy and sick when I’d just walk by her office. Let me tell you, it takes a lot of energy to maintain a grudge. And selfishly, I felt my behavior only affected me. Anyway, she and I ran into each other in the bathroom. She was very upset with my “lack of civility” towards her both on the phone and in person, and so I unleashed my fury towards her regarding her rudeness. In the end, we ended up going to my boss for arbitration. That was one of the most embarrassing and humiliating interactions with my boss in my entire career here. The resolution? Basically, we have to make nice. Funny thing is that once I started speaking to her again, the tension and uneasiness and sickness I’d been feeling suddenly vanished, and I now enjoy going to work again (well, for the most part.) Life IS much easier when you live in unity with one another.

Dear Lord, please forgive our selfish and stubborn ways, and help us to be more loving, patient, and understanding of our family, friends, AND coworkers. Amen.

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