Old Testament: Exodus 7:25-8:19
Morning Psalms: Psalms 131, 132,
New Testament: 2 Corinthians 3:7-18
Gospel: Mark 10:17-31
Evening Psalms: Psalms 140, 142
In today’s Gospel, Jesus tells the young man that he cannot buy eternal life, whether through money or through good behavior. He needs to completely let Jesus be in charge of his life. That ceding of control – even to our Lord and Savior – is something I’ve always struggled with.
I spent my 20s thinking I was in control of my life. I worked hard in school, got a job, and paid my bills. My actions produced solid, logical reactions…until the day I found out I had a softball-sized tumor in my abdomen.
What had happened? I had always been healthy, and my husband and I had great plans for our future. Suddenly, I was living in a nightmare, my whole world consumed by tests, doctor visits, my mother’s tears, my father’s attempts at reassurance, my husband’s sleepless nights, and my own crippling fear of dying at the age of 31 -- a new bride with possibly shattered dreams of becoming a mother.
It brought me to my knees, and God answered. He spoke to me in still, quiet moments….a Christian song in my head, a phone call from a colleague who had survived two brain tumors, an email with a verse from Scripture. Slowly, I began to realize that even though I wasn’t in control, He was. He gently took the reins from my desperate clutches and set me on His broad, comforting shoulders.
And then He delivered me. The tumor turned out to be very rare and completely harmless.
Now, a year and a half later, I’m not saying I have perfect faith and don’t try to wrestle the reins away from God every once in a while. But I now understand how comforting it is to let Him be in charge. He is a much better driver of my life than I am. It might not be the perfect ride; it might not fit into my plans; and I might not receive a life free of pain or terrifying circumstances. But the life I do live will be much more fulfilling if I let go and live my life in line with His plans.